Friday, January 11, 2013

Wedding File 4 : Haldi, What to expect...

I thought instead of self-obsessing soo much, let me make this post a little informative for the brides-to-be Ofcourse events might differ religion to religion and family to family, More or less things are similar if not same. Still for your information I am a North-Indian Brahmin Bride.


Haldi is mostly a fun event with everyone trying to get you dirty! However there are a LOT of tiny other things that are going on side by side.

Remember in the last post when I said the punditji did a  huge pooja on the morning of Tilak, well he made this as well.
This is a depiction of Ganeshji and all pooja's will start by worshiping this 'idol'.

So before I came to sit down for Haldi I had rice in my hand, my own chunni on my head and my mothers saree-ka-palla on my head too, i walked to this 'idol' put rice in front of it and then sat down on a pattri

The Clothes are suppose to be donated to a maid later on and well they end up getting dirty anyways so don't buy anything too fancy!

A lot of girls opt for Yellow saree's , yellow is the auspicious color to wear.
I however choose to wear a suit from Fab India.

The thing you see on the wall is called a saurti, its made on Diwali as well. 

During old weddings (read our parents weddings) the saurti was made on the wall itself, however we have switched to chart papers because :

a) You need this immediately after the phera's and since the weddings doesn't happen at the homes any more this saurti needs to be portable.

b) the walls doesnt get dirty

Ok so one of the hands is coated by ghee and the other by Mehendi then you put the hands on the saurti, so make sure the saurti is big enough for both your hands! 

Tiny Tip : You have to imprint your hands post wedding too, so have enough space for both sets of hand prints. (See how I have left the below potion empty)

Also, Coat both hands by ghee and then coat one of them by mehendi (on top of ghee) that way the mehendi won't leave any mark, also wash immediately!


You need saath suhagan ( 7 married women), but they should only be chachi's, taiji's or bhabhi's not dadi or nani. 
6 of them are paired off in group of 2's and the 7th is your mom.
Each pair has to together gather 5 food items (like dal, rice, wheat, rai,etc.) and put them in jars


After which each pair has to take a bit of items out of the jar and then grind them one by one, like the above picture, also each persons 'stick' should not touch each others. they have to repeat it with all 5 items. This has to be done in pairs, except your mom will do this alone.



Then all of them have to make migaudi (its called migaudi todna) this was originally done so that the girl will have migaudi's to take with her to cook in her new home.


And then starts the process of actual haldi-teel, the 1st picture has all the items (roli, haldi, mehendi, teel) that the green grass that you see in this picture is dipped into and then applied from your feet to your knees, to your arms, your shoulders and then your head.

This takes place either 5 or 7 times. 
The pandit on your tilak day will tell you if you have 5 teel-baan or 7

Your brother or sister starts it, then your mom and dad, and anyone else who wants to. Once its done the same people must in the same sequence do it again in the opposite way from your head to shoulder to arm to knees and then feet.



 Ofcourse we did have fun with it and told my brother that he must put it on his head as well!


Oh and my sisters were VERY happy when they found out they had to put Uptan on me. 
Make sure though that you pre inform everyone not to put uptan on your face, haldi makes your makeup go black so MUA's advice against it


Be prepared to get dirty, very dirty...I was comparatively very clean.


And then you have to take a bath real quick because everyone is waiting for you!
Make sure you come out with minimum 2 bangles in your hand, bindi and chunni on your head. I forgot all!

So had to take a chunni that came from the mandir as a wedding gift and my dadi gave a big huge bindi, my chachi gave me her bangles. In the end although this was better because then I had something from everyone.

Then they will put a small potli on your head like I have in this picture which actually contains poori's, which originally is the only thing your suppose to eat that day.


A chaddar will be held on your head and your sister will do your arti, plus your youngest sister will be asked to sit next to you. Everyone will put something in that chaddar (I am not sure what) and then it will be folded and put on your head.

That is then handed over to your mom.


 Then the Kangna is tied, my bhabhi did this but sometimes sisters tie it as well, 
we didn't tie the leg one (which is black)
For those who don't know kangna is a game that is played post wedding, your husband will open your's and you will open his. (More on wedding games in a post later)


Then there is a pooja of a Kumharan ( potter's wife) which your mother does.


We also had baat the same day, baat is when your mama (mother's brother) brings gifts for the bride and her family. This is done either under the mandap or at your home gate.


Added Information :

Mandap Gadna : Putting the mandap is also done on this day infact the day starts with that. This is done by the eldest brother-in-law, since I dont have one, being the eldest sister and all, mine was done by my bua-dadi. 

Time of event : We did this on the morning of Mehendi, its usually done on the wedding day but to avoid any hectic schedule on the day of the wedding we decided to switch this event to a day before. 

Food : Khadi chawal is a must on this day!

Music and Dance : We called in some 'banna-banni" singers and they sang all traditional songs while all of this was going on! Teasing and calling people by names such as Katrina Chachi, Shelia ki jawani bhabhi, Oh lala dadi, and then singing folk songs on which we all danced!

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